This text is the last of nine chapters with which Pauline Boss accompanies her readers on a «journey» through the implacable and irreversible loss of a loved one suffering from dementia. In the first eight chapters, dementia is defined as an ambiguous loss because it demands mourning before death and causes considerable stress that has to be coped with. For a long time, the process continues unabatedly, life is clouded by permanent grief. Other relationships, a «psychological family» and self-devised rituals can help in coming to terms with feelings of loss and mourning. Seven guidelines enlarge upon the following issues: imputed meaning, coping, and enlargement of identity, mixed feelings, attachment, new hope and self-concern. Ambiguity is discussed in terms of its positive and negative sides. In the ninth chapter printed here, the focus is on a new perspective on relationships complicated by aging or illness: not perfect, but sufficiently good. In a reassuring way, Boss questions the myth of eternal independence.
|Translated title of the contribution||The "sufficiently good" relationship|
|Number of pages||6|
|State||Published - Oct 19 2011|